The Chamber Of Poopface

The Chamber Of Poopface

By Aliya Fontaine and Taylor Smith

Ducky Potter was lying on a dust bunny. The dust bunny used to be his cousin, Duckley, but Ducky had turned him into a dust bunny. He had also turned his Aunt Duckpunia and his Uncle Ducken into dust bunnies too. Suddenly a large moth named Mothy appeared and warned him not to go to Human Pimples that year. When Ducky asked why, Mothy just said that it would be a very blobby year. Unfazed, Ducky went on with life. It was his birthday, so as the tradition follows, Ducky ate a feather off his left wing. Then he ran from the house. This was because, as usual, after Ducky turned a new age, the house in which he ate the feather would fall down and a big bear named Beargrid would appear and take Ducky to Human Pimples, a magical school of spying. Even though it was about spying, the school did not teach you any skills related to spying. Instead they learned magic. Ducky had only two friends. They were Piggy and Chicky.

After Ducky got to school he went to see Piggy. They went to their room and prepared for their first class, Defense Against the Dark Stuff. This was the only class they would have because they had learned all about everything last year. But since there was a lot of dark stuff around at the moment, they still learned about it. The year before their Defense Against the Dark Stuff teacher had died so they had a new teacher. His name was Professor Mockheart. He was a very vain parrot. At their first class, they learned nothing because Professor Mockheart spent the entire time being bombarded with lightly salted, rotten, crispy, and disgusting human fingers. Then they went to lunch.

The next day while they were walking down the hall they saw a dead human hanging on the wall. They were unfazed by this and moved on. Next they saw a dead pig it was Piggypiggy, Piggy’s sister. They passed this unfazed too. Then they saw a dead Chinchillador. They fainted. But it turned out he was only in a coma from the dangerous smell of the blobby fart. So they woke up and moved on.

When they got to their room their was an announcement. It said that Mrs. Porris, Milth’s human, was dead. So was Piggypiggy. Then it said that all the lightly salted humans had been stolen from the kitchen. This made them so mad that they ran into the girl’s bathroom and fell through the floor. They landed on a pile of recently shedded blobby skin. They had found the thief. They of course did not know this, but we do. They wrapped the skin around them and moved on. Then they heard a loud mocking laugh. It was Professor Mockheart. He flew by them and  killed the blobby. Ducky and Piggy ran in and saw the dead blobby and the humans. They ran up and ate Professor Mockheart because they were hungry. They brought the humans to Chinchillador. Chinchilldor was as grave as a chinchilla can be ( which is not very grave). He said that they would have to be kicked out of the school for being brave. But because they had found the humans they could stay.

That night at dinner, Chinchillador told of the bravery of Ducky and Piggy. When the other animals heard how they killed the blobby (even though they actually didn’t) everyone booed and hissed, but when Chinchillador told of how they brought back the humans everyone cheered. “Now!” Chinchillador howled, “You must all pledge to me.”

They pledged:

“We pledge allegiance

To Chinchilldor

Of the dictatorship of Animal Land

And to Chinchillador

For which we love

All of us

Under Chinchillador

Totally cool

With liberty and justice for Chinchillador!”

Then they went home.