DuckMans Story

 The First of Many Stories of the Amazing DuckMan

     Once upon a time, there was a young duck named Duck. He lived in a town where everyone was a duck named Duck. One day, while Duck was eating a duckwich with his best friend, Duck, a man came by and shot everyone. Duck, being a smart duck, hid, but no other duck did so they all died. When Duck emerged he ran away from his town, Duck Town. When he had been running for hours and was a full two feet from the border of Duck Town and Man Town he fell into a hole. At the bottom of the hole there was a strange bubbling green liquid. Duck fell into it. When he emerged he was a duck man. A man with eyes on the side of his head and a duck bill. He was 7 feet tall and thin as a rod. His skin was tinted yellow. Being so tall he climbed out of the 5 foot tall hole and continued running to the center of Man Town. There he was loved by everyone because he was so ducky. He got free food and free other stuff. He had yellow "hair". Yellow eyes. And he was totally fluff. He wore a yellow hat. After seeing his town and fellow ducks destroyed by duck haters he made a vow to use his human body to protect ducks and bring duck life to the world. He wanted to do this because he was a duck man. Sadly, after 340 years and he was 400 years old his life took a turn for the worst. He grew fat from eating so much free food, and worse, he shrunk a depressing height of two feet. He was unable to grow and be thin so he was forced to live out his life long goal as a nonathletic hero but he still did his job very well and is a hero to duck kind. 

           One day while DuckMan was taking a waddle in the more unduckish part of Human Town he heard a loud pain filled horror stricken sound. It was the quack of a young duck being unfluffed. DuckMan had never seen the torture for himself, but as a young duck he had be taught in the famous duck school of Duck Town, Duck Stuff, what sound a duck made in the process. He saw a random skateboard lying in the street and leaped on to it preparing to take off down the street to the young duck's rescue. When he landed it was so spectacular that all the people on the street cheered. Then, in slow motion he raised his right leg preparing to make a fantastic push that would bring him in mere seconds to the young ducks aid. Down went the foot. AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDD. Nothing happened. He tried again and nothing happened. Then he looked down and realized that his legs, at a depressing length of two inches, were still quite far from the ground. He cursed (i hate fluff!) then he waddled at the extraordinary speed of one inch every ten minutes, and broke all the records any duck had ever done by a full half inch! "Soon" he found the duck. It was on its back and a huge man of four feet was looming above it, slowly unfluffing the poor duck. DuckMan was horrified. What could that duck have done to deserve such a fate? Then the man noticed DuckMan. " So DuckMan you have caught me. Well you are too late, this duck is almost unfluffed, even if you save it now it will still suffer for the rest of its life.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

          DuckMan charged forward and karate chopped the man in half and the man died instantly. He may have saved the duck from death, but he could not save him from pain. Then DuckMan fell down to his knees and begged to The Great Duck Spirit. " Oh Great Duck Spirit, can you please reliEve this duck of it's pain? " Then, The Great Duck Spirit flew down from the glory of the kingdom of Ducklo and pulled out one of his feathers and placed it on the duck. Instantly, millions of feathers began to grow on the duck. Soon he was completely healed. Then he leaped into the air and followed The Great Duck Spirit to Ducklo to receive the cleansing treatment that all duckS must get after they have unfluffed and then fluffed again. DuckMan happily watched them go, but he knew that he would never see that duck again. Then he turned and waddled back to his house. There he lay down on his bed and thought about how he was not the amazing hero he used to be, now that he was short and fat. But then the optimistic part of his brain thought, as long as they do not suffer for their life and are taken to a safe haven he was doing his job. Then the other side of his brain said, but they still go through pain because you're short and fat. Finally the optimistic side relented and DuckMan fell asleep. He had many more adventures like this one and after each one he was troubled by the fact that he could have done better if he was taller and thinner.                            

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